Where is God?

I worried quiet a lot about posting this. Please don’t take offence, this is not a criticism of anyone’s believes. I have great admiration for anyone who has faith in the divine. This isn’t supposed to be an argument to why god doesn’t exist just a story about my journey to atheism. In some ways I miss my faith, life was a lot easier when you can believe someone has a plan for you and everything will work out for the better.

I used to be a Christian. I was a genuine evangelical, I was born again, washed in the blood of the lamb, the whole nine yards. But then I lost my faith. It didn’t happen overnight it took a while.

Three things destroyed it, one of the biggest reasons was other Christians. I still have a lot for friends and family who are Christians and are lovely people so I’m going to careful how I say this. The easiest way to explain my problem with other Christians is Kim Davis, someone who uses the bible and her religion to forward her very unpleasant views. She is entitled to have any views she wants, however unpleasant, but by also calling myself a Christian I felt guilt by association. I didn’t want to be part of a group that preaches hate and bigotry. I’m using her as an example as she wasn’t around when I lost my faith.

I studied ancient history for my degree. I took my degree in my thirties. I’m not going to go into all the details but the Bible doesn’t stand up to proper academic scrutiny. Not that’s a problem if you are a Christian who sees it as a guide but I was one of the ‘every word and comma is the word of god’ brigade. That isn’t a flippant comment people used to quote that in my church all the time. The more discerning amongst you will have noticed that I haven’t given too many details I’ve done that deliberately I’m not trying to convince anyone just explain why I gave it up.

The final reason was probably the catalyst. I can’t go into details, apart from anything else they are very unpleasant. I knew someone whose life was totally ruined by actions of another at a very young age. He didn’t do anything to encourage it, he couldn’t defend himself, he was a victim. These actions destroyed his life, his situation was never going to get better despite all the help he was given. This to me either suggests there isn’t a god or if there was a god how could he allow this to happen. I know the counter argument but for me if he exists and allows this then I want no part of him or wish to be a supporter of him.

On a lighter note if I hadn’t given up god I would have never dated and married my wife. She is an unbeliever and would never had been allowed. I would also never had time to write – I would be too busy in prayer meetings!